There is always a «happening» that via the «senses» is «captured» and based on the «bag» you have you interpret. The interpretation leads to an «attitude» with based on the «perception» which eventually generates the «behavior«.
In leadership there are two things to have in mind: letting something be said in public and creating doubts. Once you let this happening every argument that something is said that argument would just go against you. The only way to get out from this situation is to notice that the only way out is to stop the «its you or its me» game and give up the fighting. The way to accept the situation is to state that you know what happened but if the person wants to keep the approach it is up to him.
In the «bag» we have many things:
- selective perception
If you are in front of a problem you, as the one receiving the complains from the customers
- the customer is the once that accuses
- the problem is the one that is accused
- you are the «advocate» that should defend the problem
- a public part (things that I know and others know are typical for me)
- an intimate part (things that I know about myself but others don’t know)
- a blind part (things that I don’t see and others see)
The most «important» part to think about and work with would be the intimate part as those are often the reason for why confusion/misunderstanding happens. If we would express this area (I don’t like when…) the communication would flow better.
When you state something you need to think of «how» you say things. You need to avoid the following aspect.
Therefore when you give feedback you need to describe behavior not attack a personal attribute (you are…is an attack on the personality, but right now you acted like…it is related to the behavior).
There are different types of personalities:
- Q4 I want / I know: empowered (you should «let him be», you don`t need to motivate him or try to convince him, you just need to trust him)
- Q1 I want / I don`t know: principate (very motivated but doesn´t know you need to teach them but you don´t need to motivate them)
- Q2 I don’t want / I don`t know: conformist (you need to mark the path, be on top of him)
- Q3 I don’t want / I know: unmotivated (you need to motivate)
You need to treat the people differently based on how they are as persons. Even in public. There is no reason for why not
The people «are not» they «behave in a certain way in a certain situation». With that we mean that people are not a state (motivated, conformist etc) they behave in a certain way in a certain situation. It is important to understand the different because as a leader you need to lead «situational». Lead in that situation.
Therefore, it is important that your as leader know the life of your team.